As we prepare to move into the 4th month of the year, I must take a moment to reflect on Mindful March. Although a bit late, it presents a great opportunity to pause. In the spirit of transparency and connection, let me share the intricacies of my March journey.

The Essence of Being

Navigating the complexities of life—as a Daughter, a Mother, a Woman—I find myself in a perpetual state of learning, understanding the complex layers of my identity. If your heart seeks clarity and purpose, know that you are not alone. Together, we can forge a path of self-discovery and strive to align our actions with the values we hold dear.

So, I offer this tool as a reminder that in moments when the world seems overwhelming and the need for introspection becomes paramount, I propose we adopt and embrace a ritual of reflection—a sacred time to explore:

• The triumphs that have filled our hearts with joy,
• The challenges that have tested our resilience,
• The habits we ought to release into the ether,
• The practices we aspire to adopt for our growth,
• And the adjustments we can make to enrich our journey.

This ritual, in alignment with intentional breathing, will prove to be a powerful tool for grounding ourselves in the present moment, fostering a deeper connection with our inner selves, and facilitating a transformation that echoes beyond the confines of March. By incorporating this practice into our daily lives, we not only honor the essence of Mindful March but also commit to a year-round journey of mindfulness, resilience, and growth. This commitment enables us to face life’s challenges with grace, embrace our victories with gratitude, and continuously evolve toward the best versions of ourselves. Let this ritual be the light on your path, guiding you through the ebbs and flows of life with mindfulness and grace.

Continuing Growth: Expanding on Insights of Self-Love, Peace, and Mindfulness

This month of mindfulness called me to reflect on my learnings from the previous months. Here are the insights from January, February, and March:

• Reflecting on the Last Three Months: Prioritize Your Peace – Make choices that prioritize your mental and emotional well-being, allowing inner tranquility to guide your path.
• Self-Acceptance: Embrace the essence of self-love and acceptance, recognizing the inherent beauty and value within yourself.
• Mindfulness: Dive into mindfulness practices to discover serenity in the present moment and nurture a deeper sense of awareness.

Be A Good Human

Today, I urge you to reflect upon your choices, to embrace compassion, and to make a conscious effort to spread positivity. In our hands lies the power to make a meaningful impact, to spread kindness like wildfire. Affirm with me, “I strive to be a good human, spreading kindness and making a difference in the world.”

As we continue on this beautiful journey together, let us hold these insights close to our hearts, allowing them to guide us toward a future replete with empowerment, mindfulness, and boundless growth.

Take a moment now to consider your journey. What have you learned about yourself? How can these insights shape your path forward? To inspire and be inspired share your reflections with me at me@shawntanhowell.com. 

And finally, a Call to Connect

Would you be interested in deepening our journey together through an online chat? This space would allow us to discuss these reflections, share insights, and support one another in our pursuit of growth and empowerment. Your thoughts, experiences, and the wisdom you carry are invaluable to this community. Let’s connect, explore, and uplift each other on this shared path.

With warmth and positivity,
Shawntan, Empowerment Strategist

As we prepare to bid adieu to Women’s History Month, it’s essential to remember that the spirit of this month is not confined to just thirty-one days—it’s a commitment we carry with us 24/7/365. 

I am thrilled to share a feature that not only showcases the core of my work but also echoes the continuous celebration of women’s contributions and achievements. This opportunity led me down a path of deep introspection, inviting me to dive deeper into how I truly embody the principles I champion. It sparked a moment of reflection, a pause to contemplate my presence in this world and to ensure the authenticity of my actions aligns with my words.

A heartfelt thank you to the women of National Checking Company (NCCO) for this feature! Your recognition is not just an honor; it’s a reminder of our collective journey toward empowerment and equality every day of the year.

READ THE FULL FEATURE BELOW

What inspired you to start this business?

The inspiration for starting the 2nd iteration of Transforming Positivity into Power, the women’s extension of my non-profit, Girls Are Powerful, emerged from a period of profound personal challenges. I faced emotional life shifts, burnout, the empty nest syndrome, and tragedy, which collectively stirred something deep within me. The world seemed to be pulling me in countless directions, and I found myself in immediate need of a PAUSE—an opportunity to breathe and recalibrate.

In response to this inner call, I gathered a group of girlfriends, not just for socializing but with a purpose. We focused on breathing and movement, recognizing that the hustle of daily life seldom affords us the chance to take a breath, let alone address the trauma that often becomes embodied, lingering within us unacknowledged and unresolved. This gathering was not just an act of self-care; it was a foundational step toward building a community where women could empower each other through shared experiences of vulnerability and strength. Transforming Positivity into Power was born out of the understanding that there is immense strength in vulnerability and in the collective spirit of women supporting women. It represents a commitment to not only pause and heal but also to honor our collective experiences and transform them into a source of power and inspiration for others.

What are you most thankful for?

Naturally, I am thankful for my family and friends. However, on a deeper level, I honor the wisdom I’ve gained through various trials and tribulations. Being on the other side of those challenges, I’ve come to truly appreciate and honor the journey towards self-acceptance, self-love, and empowerment. It has taught me the importance of seeking joy, encouraging me to embrace every moment with an open heart and a spirit of gratitude.

What do you feel most passionate about?

I am passionate about empowering individuals to realize their full potential, especially those who may feel overlooked or undervalued. My passion comes from my personal journey—initially inspired by my desire to empower my daughter, it evolved into a broader mission that has positively impacted the lives of many girls over the past decade. Along this journey, I discovered that my own path to self-acceptance, self-love, and empowerment was deeply intertwined with my efforts to uplift others. This means my passion extends beyond a personal mission; it embodies a belief in the transformative power of self-love and personal empowerment. It’s about the widespread impact and the positive ripple effect that come from empowering just one individual, contributing to a legacy of empowerment and change.

How do you manage feelings of doubt?

Acknowledging the ebb and flow of self-doubt is important, and that it happens to all of us – it will come, and it will go. During those moments of self-doubt, it’s important to have a meaningful internal dialogue. This process involves unpacking the feelings, reframing the narrative, and identifying the root cause of the doubt. We must remember that we have the power to choose how we respond to these feelings and for how long they impact us.

What is something you would tell your younger self?

I love you. I love your tall self, your curvaceous self, your brown self. Stand tall, smile broadly, and embrace the confidence that you have everything under control. Whatever challenges you face, know that you are capable of navigating through them. Never silence your voice; continue to practice and express yourself, even in moments of fear or nervousness. Above all, trust in your intuition—it’s your most powerful guide.

What are some events that you offer to women that may empower and inspire women?

I am dedicated to empowering and inspiring women through a variety of transformative events.
Our GRP Mother-Daughter and Caregiver Events are designed as an opportunity to strengthen the bonds between generations. Transforming Positivity into Power – Wisdom, Truth, and Fortitude (WTF) Experiences provides a nurturing space for women to pause, reflect, and concentrate on their well-being and self-care through engaging and interactive sessions. Together, these events encapsulate my mission to create a world where every woman feels empowered to realize her full potential, supported by a community that believes in the transformative power of love, empathy, and unwavering support.

Where can women reach out to you for information on events, books, etc.?

Please visit my website at www.shawntanhowell.com, check out my socials (Instagram: @iamshawntan, Facebook: @shawntanofficial), or email me directly: me@shawntanhowell.com.

I’m thrilled to announce the release of my first official workbook, “The Serenity Plan: A Workbook for Joy, Growth, and Well-Being.” What began as a personal list of rules that supported and shaped my approach to life has transformed into Serenity Guiding Principles.
For a deeper dive into my work and philosophy, I invite you to read my profile feature on Medium: “From Chaos to Calm: The Voyage to Overcoming Burnout.” This piece offers a glimpse into the motivations and experiences that shape my mission to empower, inspire, and self-care.

Again, thank you to the women of NCCO for giving me the opportunity to share insights into the heart of empowerment and the journey of personal growth. – Shawntan 

I am thrilled to announce the launch of my latest offering: “The Serenity Plan” Workbook! What began as a personal list of rules that supported and shaped my approach to life has transformed into Serenity Guiding Principles.

At the heart of this workbook lie 12 Serenity Guiding Principles, such as Matching Energy, Protecting Your Peace, and Embracing Joy. These principles serve as the foundation for crafting a life filled with fulfillment and well-being.

Designed to be your companion on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, this workbook is a powerful tool for cultivating serenity, resilience, and empowerment in your life. I believe in the importance of intentional reflection and mindful living. “The Serenity Plan” Workbook is a reflection of my commitment to equipping those around me with the tools they need to unleash their fullest potential. Each lesson I learn becomes a gift to the universe, a ripple of wisdom meant to inspire and empower.

So, whether you’re seeking to enhance your well-being, deepen your self-awareness, or cultivate a greater sense of purpose, this workbook is here to accompany you on your journey.

Inside “The Serenity Plan” Workbook, you’ll discover a collection of thought-provoking exercises, journaling prompts, and mindfulness practices designed to help you connect with your inner wisdom, clarify your values, and set meaningful intentions for the future. From exploring your strengths and passions to identifying areas for growth and transformation, each section of the workbook is thoughtfully crafted to support your personal development journey.

I invite you to start on this transformative journey and uncover the power of serenity in your own life. Whether you’re starting a new chapter, navigating a challenging transition, or simply seeking to deepen your connection with yourself, the Serenity Plan Workbook is here to support you every step of the way.

Workbook Highlights:

• Discover inner peace and joy through personalized exercises.
• Navigate life’s challenges with clarity and purpose.
• Create lasting habits that align with your values and aspirations.
• Unlock the power within yourself to live your best life.

Visit Amazon today at https://amzn.to/42KA2p6 to Get Your Guide to Serenity Today! May this resource serve as a guiding light on your path to greater well-being, presence, and empowerment.

With love and gratitude,
Shawntan, Empowerment Strategist

As we fully step into the second month of the year, the possibilities still feel limitless, and the horizon of opportunities remains stretched out before us. It’s still that time when many set resolutions, make plans, and envision their path ahead. Yet, amidst these aspirations, I’ve come to realize that there’s an essential element often overlooked—our soul care plan. This was my revelation of 2023.

As an empowerment strategist, my journey has been a profound exploration of self-discovery, empowerment, inner peace, and pure joy. My purpose extends beyond personal growth; it’s about sharing wisdom, experiences, and vibrations with the universe, hoping to inspire others to start on their own transformational journeys. In 2024, I’m working on several opportunities for you to craft your own soul care plan, tap into serenity, and align with your core being.

Soul Care: The Foundation of Well-Being
What does Soul Care mean to you? For me, it’s the foundation of personal growth and well-being. It’s where purposeful pauses reside and insights flourish. Soul care is about tending to your inner garden, nurturing your spirit, and cultivating a deep sense of self-acceptance. In a world that often values external achievements, it’s crucial to remember that taking care of our inner selves is equally, if not more, important. Using my social platforms, I plan to amplify this message through insights, motivational quotes, engaging discussions, and more.

2024 Serenity Plan: Your Guiding Light
As we came into the new year, I was compelled to embrace serenity as my personal roadmap. Serenity is more than just a calm state of mind; it’s a sanctuary of peace within yourself. It’s the gentle breeze that soothes our restless souls. Embracing serenity empowers us to navigate life’s challenges with grace, kindness, and inner peace. We possess an incredible ability to shape our reality, reminding us to pause, reflect, and realign with our deepest values. Stay tuned as I share more about how I plan to illuminate this vision soon!
Update as of 2/21/24: “The Serenity Plan” Workbook Available Today!

Motivation: Love Yourself and Be A Good Human
At the foundation of my work lies the ten motivations, guiding us to understand our inner drivers and inspirations. When we tap into our wisdom, truth, and fortitude, our motivations align, bringing these reminders to life. Deep and authentic self-love drives our actions and decisions in alignment with our core values. It’s not about narcissism or selfishness; it’s about recognizing our worth and treating ourselves with kindness and respect. These motivations are integrated into almost every aspect of my work. So, let “Love Yourself and Be A Good Human” be the mantra driving your aspirations in 2024.

Empowerment Through Self-Discovery
My journey as an empowerment strategist has been a tapestry of self-discovery, from which I share my insights. True empowerment doesn’t stem from trying to be someone we’re not; it comes from embracing our true selves—the quirks, flaws, and unique qualities that define us. I believe genuine empowerment begins with honesty, self-compassion, self-reflection, self-acceptance, and a willingness to give back to others.

A Plateful of Wisdom
My plateful serves as a reminder—a reminder of nourishment beyond food. It’s a call to nourish our souls, trust our gut instincts, take purposeful pauses, and return to the heart of self-love and compassion. Infused with the essence of pure joy, my wish is for everyone to cultivate a stronger sense of self, recognize their unique worth, and lead lives filled with purpose and serenity.

As we continue our journey through 2024, remember that our well-being is not a destination but a daily practice. Crafting our soul care plan, embracing serenity, and aligning with our core being are not just resolutions—they’re lifelong commitments to ourselves. Together, let’s make this year a testament to self-love, self-acceptance, personal growth, and being a good human.

Join me in this exploration of self-discovery and empowerment. Together, let’s create ripples of positive change, not only within ourselves but also in the world around us. May 2024 bring you serenity, purpose, and an unwavering love for yourself and others.

Stay connected—follow me on social media, join my mailing list, and stay tuned for inspiring insights, motivational quotes, and engaging discussions. Let’s join forces to create ripples of empowerment and transform our lives.

Follow me on Instagram [@iamshawntan] and Facebook [ShawntanOfficial]

With warmth and positivity,
Shawntan, Empowerment Strategist

Did you know that recent studies show that women with a close community of friends have lower stress levels, more robust immune systems, and even heal faster from physical wounds? 

This incredible phenomenon is unique to women and their relationships with other women. It’s one more reason I am passionate about creating a community of empowered women.

When I started Transforming Positivity Into Power, it was with a vision of empowering women to share their stories, connect and where we together could focus on our wellbeing. I wanted to create a space where we could all feel supported and empowered and where we could learn from each other’s experiences. The response has been incredible. I am grateful to all who have participated  in experiences and shared their stories. Each one of these women is an inspiration, and they are transforming positivity into power every day.

“The Beginning”

I don’t know about you, but trusting the process and my creative flow is complex. It’s easy to doubt myself and my abilities, but I know that if I want to make a difference in this world, I need to learn to trust myself and step into my power.

This journey began with the Girls Are Powerful organization. When working with the girls in this program, I spent a lot of time teaching them to step into their personal power and trust their intuition. I wanted them to see that they were capable of anything they set their minds to. I also wanted them to experience that they had the strength to overcome any obstacle. 

Seeing the girls grow and change throughout the program was an incredible experience. It solidified my belief in the power of positive thinking and taking action to make a difference. It also allowed me to build my community through interacting with their parents and caregivers. We both wanted our girls to feel powerful and strong, and we were able to relate to each other’s experiences. 

“The Vision”

At some point, however, I realized that I wasn’t consistently living the things I was teaching. I have always been more comfortable behind the scenes, helping others to shine. But I knew that if I wanted to truly empower myself and embrace my life’s work, I needed to lead by example, connect with others, and learn from them. I needed to be actively helping other women find their purpose, align their actions, and live an empowered life. And that’s where my vision of creating a community for shared experiences began.

“Building a Community of Empowered Women: The Story of Transforming Positivity Into Power ”

Unfortunately, the world we live in often pits women against each other. We’re told there’s not enough success to go around and that we must fight for what we want. But I believe that this is a false narrative. There is more than enough success, love, and abundance for all of us. When we support each other and lift each other, we create a compelling force.

Because of this, I knew I wanted to create a space to unite women. A space where we could bring our authentic selves, share our stories, and connect on a deeper yet higher level. I wanted to create a community of empowered women who could support and inspire each other.

As a part of my launch, I sent the call out to the women in my network and found an array of wonderful women to be the first with whom I could share this work.

As we dove into what it meant to Transform Positivity into Power, I asked each to identify which of the motivations best represents how they show up for themselves and others. I then asked them to explore this more deeply and share a story about where they’ve seen it in their life. Finally, I had them examine and explain how they have encouraged others to live this motivation. Each woman has an incredible story, and I was honored that they shared it as a part of this experience.

“Transforming Positivity Into Power”

This experience was the start of a initative that solidified the idea that the vision I was putting forth into the universe was the next phase of my work. Once I realized this, I pushed aside my doubts, stepped into my personal power, and took this work to the next level.

The journey has been an enlightening experience that has allowed me to push myself out of my comfort zone. I have had to trust my creative flow, embrace my strengths, and transform my positivity into power. 

Through this process, I have embraced my passion and seen my vision come to life. With the help of an incredible community of women, I have moved out of the shadows and into the forefront of this work. And this is just the beginning. Follow along as I introduce you to the women who shared their stories as well as behind the scenes of my Transforming Positivity into Power, WTF Journeys which are women-only, whole body 1/2 day retreat-like experience.              

Do you want to learn more? Are you ready to transform your positivity into power? 

If you feel called to do this work, I would love to support you on your journey. You can schedule your Intro Call and find out more about my work with women at this link:

“WTF Moments In Action”

Have you watched my WTF Call to Action video? 

For the past few months, I have been sharing my Transforming Positivity Into Power work with you. This work has been centered around transforming WTF moments into Wisdom, Truth, and Fortitude. I’ve shared a bit about my journey and my vision for this work, and now I’m getting ready to move into the next segment, where we’ll look a little deeper into how we got here and where we’re going. 

But before we do, I want to hear from you. I’m looking to connect with 10-12 women to share their WTF moments with me and how you’re transforming from those moments. To get started, I posted a video about it on Instagram. 

My WTF Moment

Now, you might not have guessed this, but while recording that video, I was struggling! I was having some severe uneasiness about being seen, to the point that I actually had a difficult time getting the words out.

It was a WTF moment for me because I realized how much I still limit myself.

Take a minute to watch the following three videos and see how I work through this WTF moment:

I know I am not alone in this, and so many of us experience these moments. This work is about choosing between staying stuck or using your WTF moments as an opportunity to grow.

I decided to fight those limiting beliefs and use this experience as a moment to grow. I’ve been doing the work, so I took a minute to breathe, lean into loving myself, and allow myself to take up some space.

I let go of the uneasiness, the limiting beliefs, and the idea of the person that I thought you wanted to see — and instead focused on just being me. I turned my frustration into fun.

 I laughed at myself. I sang a song to myself. I danced by myself. I became ME.

 So why am I sharing this with you? Why did I post the outtakes on social media? Because I want you to see this work in action. I want you to know that changing how you think and feel at any moment is possible.

 I want you to see that your power is constant and cannot be diminished. These moments can also be opportunities to transform and gain a different perspective of moments of WTF: Wisdom, Truth, and Fortitude.  

Facing Your WTF Moments

Listen, you’re going to be faced with WTF moments in life. Whether they start externally, with the words or judgment of others, or internally, with limiting beliefs or imposter syndrome, they will happen.

The key is not to avoid or try to control them but to use them as an opportunity for growth.

Here are a few ideas for growing from those WTF moments. 

1.  First, take a step back and breathe. 
2.  Next, remember your motivations. You can use the Motivations exercise on my website,
3. or, if you already know which one works for you, go ahead and do that. 

Finally, rely on your mantras, affirmations, or mottos. Let’s talk a little more about them because they start with asking yourself what do you need. 

If you don’t have mantras, affirmations, and mottos already in place, today is the day to do that. These tools are powerful! But they take time and practice to reach their full usefulness. 

What’s Next

You are capable of so much more than you think. WTF moments don’t have to hold you back– they can be your stepping stones to a life that is even more empowering than you could have imagined. And it starts with you and your thoughts – how you see things. 

In my WTF moment, I could have allowed my uneasiness to hold me back from sharing that piece of myself. Instead, I chose to push through the distraction and frustration. I chose to find the fun and embrace the illumination into what my inner critic was telling me. And I chose to transform my WTF moment into Wisdom, Truth, and Fortitude.

In the words of Marianne Willamson: 

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world…”

You can do this too. You have the power within yourself to take those WTF moments and use them to empower yourself and others around you.

 So go out there and be of service, love yourself, take up space, do the work, breathe, and remember — you got this.

“Give Grace”

As a self-proclaimed “Type A” overachiever; a first born daughter to African parents; and an immigrant in the US and the pressures to succeed that all these bring. I feel like I have had to work three times as hard to attain the level of success that I have in my chosen profession and country.

As I have stepped into leadership roles in my work life and in my community, I found that (and been told that), I am good at seeing the big picture and identifying steps out of crisis situations. People I have had work and personal relationships with have said that I have a way of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel long before others do; and the ability to give others grace and hold space for them while they process the crisis of the moment. I have not always been as kind to myself. 

In 2019, I met Shawntan Howell at a year long leadership institute we both attended. The most striking thing from that experience with Shawntan was her ability to connect with aspects of my life and open me up to the possibility of what giving myself grace would look like. I am reminded every time I think of or connect with Shawntan that as a black woman in America I need to first and foremost ‘give myself grace’. In my interactions with others now, I strive to pass the lesson to others reminding them “to first give themselves grace and always look to give others grace”.

Give grace, reminds me of my favorite quote: “Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle”.

“Transforming Positivity into Power ”

I don’t know about you, but pandemic life has left me with a mess regarding my mental and physical health and well-being. The craziness of working from home, the anxiety of the constant unknown, the fear of being exposed or getting sick or of a loved one getting sick, the loneliness, loss, and panic — it’s been a whirlwind of circumstances that have left chaos and destruction everywhere you turn. In other words, it’s been one WTF moment after another!

But, as I’ve said before, WTF moments are great for revealing deeper truths. With a new normal slowly establishing itself, I recently realized that I needed to take a minute to look at my WTF moments and see what I could pull out to help me adjust and get on track with this version of normal.

My first step was to enlist a little help to lean into it and seek a new perspective to jumpstart this journey. That’s how I found myself attending a New Moon Intention Setting workshop with Jean Nitchals, complete with crystals grids and a sound bath workshop..

 There were so many incredible parts to this experience. I invited a few of my favorite women to join me in this space and was able to deep dive into a pool of new knowledge and experiences. I was immersed in powerful energy from the crystal grid to the sound bath meditation. There was so much to learn! And not just about the logistics of tapping into the new moon, crystals, and crystal grid energy.

I could sit in stillness, surrounded by women I felt deeply connected to, and focus on me, my mind, body, and spirit, and the delicate balance between them. It was an intentional pause in my life, and the result was powerful!

There’s something extraordinary about sharing vulnerable experiences with other humans, especially other women. We crave community and thrive on connection – two areas that the pandemic has effectively changed or even taken away from us. This workshop was a potent reminder of how crucial that piece is in my personal health and well-being journey.

There was so much about this experience that I absolutely loved, but the part that stuck with me was how opportunities like this can completely fill us up. And the best part is that there is a whole world of empowering and healing modalities out there, each with unique benefits and a variety of people with knowledge to share. Everyone deserves to feel these moments filled with self-care, self-love, and empowerment.

And that’s why I’m introducing a new element to my Transforming Positivity into Power brand. I affectionately refer to it as WTF Journeys, and I can’t wait for you to experience it!

Connection is difficult – whether it’s with ourselves, our friends, or our community. This is especially true as we get older, and find ourselves having to break into circles where friendship has already been established. And in our post-pandemic world, it can be add a whole other layer of complications. When combined with the other curves that have been thrown at us, we could all use a moment to recenter and learn to listen to our inner selves again.

WTF Journeys are group experiences focused on navigating the impact of WTF moments – like the pandemic – to find balance and community in our new normal. We’ve accomplished a lot on our own since the pandemic started and there is still a lot happening in our world, but it’s time to start reconnecting with each other again.

When we come together in these safe environments, we can participate in self-care and nurture our self-love. We can create new connections and build relationships – both with ourselves and others.

We can pause long enough to take a deep breath and regain our composure. These experiences will provide unique opportunities for healing and empowerment that allow us to recenter and realign ourselves with the world, our community, and the aspects of our lives that are truly important.

As I mentioned earlier, I invited a couple of close friends to join me at the New Moon Intention Setting workshop, and building connections like those is another piece of WTF Journeys that is so magical. By sharing these intimate experiences with other women who are on similar journeys, you’ll make new connections in a way that doesn’t often happen as an adult.

You’ll leave feeling energized, rejuvenated, and connected by participating – and looking forward to the next WTF Journey! It’s a strong foundation for new relationships, a gift we desperately need these days. Humans are not meant to be alone, and the pandemic has done a very effective job of shattering communities and encouraging isolation.

It’s time to take those back! It’s time to rebuild in a way that honors the experiences, anxieties, and changes of the past few years but also embraces the new normal so we can move forward together.

1. You chose “Take up Space” as your personal motivation that most exemplify you and how you show up for others. Please explain why.

As a white woman, my first thought about the idea of “taking space” as an option for coping with these WTF moments was “I think I need to take less of it”. As I thought more about it, I realized that my privilege has influenced how I show up and take space, and while I am working on taking less in certain situations, I still struggle with taking space in some areas of my life. It’s been a journey that has really shaped who I am and how I show up for myself and others.

2. When did you first notice this quality in yourself?

As an introvert and highly sensitive person, I learned early on that it was best for me to ignore my fears and get loud to get my needs met. There were times this worked, and times where it definitely did not. Now, I am a confident person who has developed (for good or ill) a reputation for giving my (mostly work related) opinions, whether there’s interest or not. I am a fierce advocate, talented public speaker and a leader in my community. At the same time, in personal situations, I get very anxious about bothering other people who may want quiet, worry about leaving too much of a mess in airbnbs (really, excessively clean, look up my reviews) and don’t want to make anyone around me feel uncomfortable.

3. Please share a story that exemplifies this quality in yourself.

I was bossy as a little kid, I felt confident asking others to play by my rules and to lead the stories and plotlines from my imagination- I had some incredible barbie storylines and sagas that went on for months. I can’t pin it down, but I remember the power I felt the first time I presented a project to a class in middle school and overcame my nervousness. It was like leaving my body – I loved the freedom I felt when I spoke from my heart and was heard. I also learned that others were interested in what I had to say. Teachers complimented me and called on me to hear my opinion (there’s the privilege).

4. How do you exhibit this motivation in your daily life?

I had a high school civics teacher who learned he could count on getting me riled up on some controversial topic, in the name of classroom debate. While it was cathartic and reinforcing, even at the age of 16 I realized this could be exploited, and when I- confidently- approached the teacher to tell him it made me uncomfortable to use me to fuel these conversations, he said that he wanted my classmates to hear different perspectives before they went out into the world, that for some this might be the only time they will hear another viewpoint. I was flattered, but that’s when I started taking up space for external, not internal, reward. Ironically, it was during this time that I struggled with an eating disorder, physically trying to quite literally shrink my space in the world.

I have grown a lot since then and cherish my self confidence, and as I become more aware of this power I have, I have learned to use it to support my best interests and to serve others. My self confidence and willingness to put myself out there, whether it’s applying for jobs that I am just barely qualified for and saying yes to being at tables so full of experts it would terrify me if I thought too much about it- has gotten me very far in life. I chose Social Work as my career and ever since I started, I keep seeing how dysfunctional our systems are and how they hold others down. I have realized the incredible amounts of privilege I have- because of my skin color, the way others encouraged me to speak out and invited me to tables- can be used to further the change I hope to see in the world. It has inspired me to take jobs where I can make a bigger, more significant impact on the world and my own community. 

5. How do you encourage others to “Take up Space?”

I am now in the position to open doors and encourage others to go through them. It starts with the obvious- monitoring how much actual space- and air time- I’m taking in any given conversation, even if that means sitting on my hands or biting my tongue to do it. And then becomes more subtle, recognizing the situations in which I can support someone by making or boosting space in those situations where I have more privilege. For example, I regularly find myself at tables with elected officials and other high level, high impact leaders. It’s easy to forget about how much that table matters to those who are not usually in those rooms. I have made it my mission to elevate the voices in the room who may only have one shot to be there. If they have an opinion or idea, I encourage them to take the space by asking open ended questions. “That’s an interesting thought, can you say more?” or “Hey, let’s not blow past that idea, I want to go back to that”. So often these types of rooms can be echo chambers, high powered people wanting to make their opinions heard. Boosting other’s voices can help reorient us to the work, and frankly, brings fresh air into the room, and we end up with a better product. So. While I am still working on taking basic space for myself in every day life, I know that encouraging others to take up the “big” space, which has become second nature for me, can lead to real, transformational change, and that’s my goal.

1. You chose “Do the Work” as your personal motivation that most exemplifies you and how you show up for others. Please explain why.

I chose Do the Work because it strongly connects to my own anti-racism (anti-oppression) journey – a journey that has been nothing short of transformative for me and how I live. 

I believe that white culture cultivates fragility, anxiety, perfectionism, defensiveness, conflict aversion, competition, and a lack of honesty. These are values I carried, somewhat unconsciously, throughout much of my life, and I was even rewarded for them (especially in school and work). I didn’t realize how these values were contributing to my own self-oppression and how miserable they were making me. And I didn’t understand how connected these values are to the systems of oppression that actively harm anyone without structural privilege (BIPOC, women, LGBTQ, disabled, neurodiverse people). 

Dominant culture doesn’t support building anti-oppression skills like courage, directness, honesty, holding multiple truths, growth mindset, tolerating discomfort, relational thinking, going slowly, and rupture/repair. Building new skills is like building weak muscles. It’s hard work. It’s messy, sometimes ugly. It takes a lot of practice. 

But without these skills, I continue to oppress myself and contribute to the systemic oppression of others. Conversely, as I’ve begun to build these skills, I’ve experienced tremendous peace, wholeness, healing, and connection.

Do the Work is a powerful reminder of how LIFE-GIVING and LIBERATING it is to build anti-oppression skills to serve myself and others. It’s always a work in progress, emphasis on the work. And it’s totally worth it.

2. When did you first notice this quality in yourself?

I think I’ve always been someone who will work hard to go after something I believe in, But my current definition of “the work” started emerging in 2019.

3. Please share a story that exemplifies this quality in yourself

In 2018 I started to see white supremacy values become more overt in my child’s school community. I didn’t have many people I could talk to about what I saw and I didn’t know how to speak up to disrupt these values. Moreover, I sometimes felt complicit in the white-dominant culture that embraced these values. It left me feeling triggered, on-edge, and isolated. I knew I needed to find a community that shared my values and learn to speak up. I started a parent-led equity group in our school and people joined. It was terrifying, messy and embarrassing. Some white people in the community stopped interacting with me and my kids. Some people of color called me out for ways I could do better. There were indeed many things I could have done better/differently, but by doing the work I built some of the muscles I needed to be better and do better. And our school community began to build these muscles as well. It was the first time I understood what it felt like to build anti-oppression skills. I wouldn’t have learned how without doing the work.

4. How do you exhibit this motivation in your daily life?

Doing the work often means doing something that’s scary to me. I try to move towards the things that scare me.

5. What has it meant to you personally?

This motivation has meant everything to me personally. My hope is that the work is a way to contribute to generational healing.

6. How do you encourage others to “Do the Work”?

I encourage others to do the work by modeling the work myself and speaking vulnerably about my own imperfections in the work. I also try to disrupt, name, and speak honestly about values of oppression when I see them. I try to invite white people into the work by connecting their values to actions (because white culture also believes that thinking about the work is the same as doing the work, and it’s not.) Lately, my biggest focus is to try things I’m scared I won’t get right and trust that I will be able to do the work to repair and course-correct if/when I get it wrong.

7. Please share an example of when you encouraged this in others and there was a positive outcome.

I now have many relationships with people focused on doing the work. We hold each other accountable and cheer each other on so we can keep developing the skills we need to dismantle oppression in ourselves, our homes, our communities, and our world. The work will never be done. Doing the work is a practice, a way of life, not an arrival point. I can see almost daily how much my own willingness to do the work has influenced people around me. But I feel the biggest impact in myself.